Good evening anyone and everyone! Thanks for the last comment Steve! Hope The City is treating you well. I am still fighting through the battles, but I am gaining ground on a daily basis.
Today I want to share, with all of you that read this blog, some more insight into what I went through when I came home to recover after surgery.
I arrived at home with 15 staples going down my navel and 14 staples holding my butt together. I was hurting up top and down below. I never had been a pill taker, but after a couple of days I was taking my pain meds right on schedule! Trying to get out of bed required rolling to my left. No such thing as sitting on 14 staples and getting up easily out of bed folks! Physics wont allow it! I became very adept at having everything I needed within arms reach as well.
Cable remote..check...loratabs...check....water...check. In fact at a point a few weeks ago I realized that I was getting too good at it! I wasn't getting around as much as I should so I started to exercise.
I had a physical therapist coming to the house twice a week to run me through some very basic exercises. After the first day I was sore like I had run a marathon and all I had done were a few squats and some leg raises! I was terribly out of shape. I had no idea that laying on my back for four weeks could cause me to fall apart so quickly! My energy level was low as hell too! I didnt sign up for this bullshit! I signed up for the cancer where you get the tumor removed and youre back to living life in a couple of weeks! Someone didnt get my memo! Theyre fired as soon as I find out who!
My Mom lives in North Carolina and she wanted to come out on the first plane and take care of me! I was sooo anti-social when I came home though that I rarely picked up a phone let alone had visitors. I didnt like seeing myself all helpless and shuffling around. Sure as hell didnt want my Mom to see me like that either. While going through all of this we came up with an idea for a belt to wrap around your waist and keep the colostomy bag stable. Almost like a cumberbund for a tux, except you wear it underneath your shirt. She has designed something pretty badass and she is hoping that this can lead to an actual product that others can benefit from as well! She has many years of fashion experience and the connections to make it work so wish her luck! I will keep you guys posted on the status of that as it emerges.
I have watched waaaaay too much cable tv over the last couple of months. I watched Rush Hour 2 about 20 times! Love Chris Tucker! I watched ALOT of Comedy Central and SportsCenter! I am ready to pick up a guitar, plug it in, turn it up loud as hell and JAM!!!! I will be pursuing that as soon as I can! There has got to be a few good songs I can get out of this experience! Maybe a movie!?
Back to the vanishing of my butt........I have a little more ass now that I have been getting around, but I am not back to full assedness yet! A couple more weeks and I will have the nicest, untappable butt in the Metro! I have gotten my weight up to 138 but I need to gain at least ten more pounds to get back to pre-surgery weight.
My body digests foods alot faster now because there is no wait station!I dont feel that urge to poop like I used to. It just comes when it comes and theres no holding it back! That is a trip! By the way, I can still fart! It sounds the same and everything! Downside is there are no silent farts anymore! No control over stopping an oncoming flatulence event! I fart when I fart and how are you today? What are you looking at? Cant wait for all of these moments as they happen! This is going to be awesome! So thats kind of cool for me! Kind of gross, but cool at the same time!
I went to my oncologist the other day and he doesnt want me to start my last round of chemo until I am completely healed up. I wasnt about to even if he wanted me too! The chemo kicks your immune systems butt and I dont need holes in my body at the same time! Hopefully my one little "hole" will close up in the next few weeks and I can get the chemo out of the way.
See,they cut open my ass, removed the tennis ball sized tumor and then stapled my ass up but they left a hole right at the tip of my "taint" for drainage....GROSSEST THING EVER!! My surgeon likes to stick foot long Q-tips up there and make my life Hell every couple of weeks too! Feels like a needle sticking me when he does this and I know I go white each time he does! Then I thank him as I am leaving! Its like thanking a cop for a ticket as he's walking away! So every day I get to change gauze pads nestled between my cheeks...It aint pretty folks! Beats dying though! I know once I am to the point of just having a colostomy bag to deal with this wont be so bad. Its still a pain in the ass though! Lots of love to anyone out there going through some pain right now. Keep your heads up! Talk to you later!
Tennis Anyone?
Gary Lee Becker
Friday, September 24, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
I am finally back!
Good Monday everybody! I apologize for taking so long to get back on here and tell about my time right after surgery. There is alot of catching up to do so pour yourselves a drink, smoke 'em if ya got 'em and allow me to get you all up to speed.
My surgery was smooth. I stayed in the hospital for several days before I was finally allowed to go home. While I was in the hospital a few strange things happened. One night I had a dream that I was naked in my private bathroom trying to go pee while two nurses tried to get me to lay back in my bed. I also pulled out the tube I had going down my throat in this dream. Well it turns out the next day that it really happened! I dont know if it was the drugs they had me on or what, but I was so embarrassed! I cant believe I pulled that tube out of my throat without hurting myself! Hospital drugs......WOW!
The first few days they had me on a liquid diet. Jello, broths, puddings....sucked! I hadnt eaten anything solid in about a week and I was sooo ready for a Dominos pizza or something! Once I got on a solid diet and was able to shuffle around the hospital halls by myself I was cleared to go home. I think I got home around August 5th.
The first couple of days back home were pretty much a blur. I dont remember too much except just laying in bed alot! I was getting visits from home health care nurses every couple of days. They would take my vitals, ask a few questions. They were very caring and sympathetic nurses. Unfortunately I was having trouble peeing when I got home and one of them had to give me a catheder. For those not in the know its a tube they stick down your penis and into your bladder. The tube felt like a garden hose and I was about to faint people! My wife was holding my hand and I was crossing threshholds of pain I never knew existed! Child birth could only hurt this much! Props to all of the females out there! So I not only had a colostomy bag on my waist I also had a tube going down my penis. I was soooo miserable guys! I didnt want to be around anyone!
I just have to give my wife Jaurita alot of respect and love for being here for me and watching me go through this. She was there in the bathroom with me the first time i had to change my colostomy bag. I was so weak that she was doing most of the work. When a person will handle your poo you know theyre the one for you! She is amazing. I am extremely lucky to have her in my corner because I am such an asshole sometimes! LYSB!
I didnt answer my phone much or talk to too many people those first few weeks. It was hard getting my strength back at first. Did I mention that I lost twenty pounds! I go through chemo no problem and the surgery kicks my ass to the tune of twenty pounds! I weighed 158 going in and a few weeks later at home i weighed myself for the first time and I was down to 132! That scared the hell out of me! I had to start eating alot of food! Problem with that is that my body is still learning to digest through the bag and the scar tissue going down my pelvis is hardening and screwing with my guts! Fun Fun!!
Whats terrible is that about a week later I was getting out of the shower and I caught a profile of myself in the bathroom mirror. Ladies and gentlemen I had ZERO backside! My ass had completely disappeared! I think ten of the twenty pounds I had lost were from my butt! I was just staring in the mirror asking myself "Really?" Sooo gross just looking and seeing that. Vanity is a mofo! That motivated me to get up and move around a little more.
I had to go back in the hospital over a weekend because I had an intestinal blockage. The scar tissue on my stomach wasnt getting stretched out enough for food to pass through my intestines. I had to go on a liquid diet for a day and drink some stool softener. A few weeks later I started feeling it again so I took care of it myself at home doing the same thing! I am not a big hospital fan!
So now I have been taking daily walks through the streets of my neighborhood. Even when I feel like crap I push myself out the door. I realize that is the only way I am going to recover from this faster. Its easy to lay in bed and moan in pain. Been there done that! It is the hardest thing I have EVER been through! Physically and mentally! I have gone through the gamut of emotions as well. I have cried a few times because I felt like such a burden and because of the pain I was experiencing. Depressed? You betcha! Sometimes i would have to sing some Bob Marley in my head to keep the old chin up! Worked most of the time!
I am now one week away from trying to go back to work. I am not 100% but I think I can handle a couple of days a week now. I need to get back because I am sick of watching tv! I have to get out of this house and get back to living my life! Its still going to be a minute before I am back to normal, but I can handle that.
I still have four months of chemo to get through. That will start back up in the next few weeks. Chemo didnt bother me before so hopefully it wont this time either! That about i! There are other days I can write about and i will do that on the next blog! Sorry I took so long! Hope everyone is doing well and taking the time to smell the roses! Talk at ya soon!
My surgery was smooth. I stayed in the hospital for several days before I was finally allowed to go home. While I was in the hospital a few strange things happened. One night I had a dream that I was naked in my private bathroom trying to go pee while two nurses tried to get me to lay back in my bed. I also pulled out the tube I had going down my throat in this dream. Well it turns out the next day that it really happened! I dont know if it was the drugs they had me on or what, but I was so embarrassed! I cant believe I pulled that tube out of my throat without hurting myself! Hospital drugs......WOW!
The first few days they had me on a liquid diet. Jello, broths, puddings....sucked! I hadnt eaten anything solid in about a week and I was sooo ready for a Dominos pizza or something! Once I got on a solid diet and was able to shuffle around the hospital halls by myself I was cleared to go home. I think I got home around August 5th.
The first couple of days back home were pretty much a blur. I dont remember too much except just laying in bed alot! I was getting visits from home health care nurses every couple of days. They would take my vitals, ask a few questions. They were very caring and sympathetic nurses. Unfortunately I was having trouble peeing when I got home and one of them had to give me a catheder. For those not in the know its a tube they stick down your penis and into your bladder. The tube felt like a garden hose and I was about to faint people! My wife was holding my hand and I was crossing threshholds of pain I never knew existed! Child birth could only hurt this much! Props to all of the females out there! So I not only had a colostomy bag on my waist I also had a tube going down my penis. I was soooo miserable guys! I didnt want to be around anyone!
I just have to give my wife Jaurita alot of respect and love for being here for me and watching me go through this. She was there in the bathroom with me the first time i had to change my colostomy bag. I was so weak that she was doing most of the work. When a person will handle your poo you know theyre the one for you! She is amazing. I am extremely lucky to have her in my corner because I am such an asshole sometimes! LYSB!
I didnt answer my phone much or talk to too many people those first few weeks. It was hard getting my strength back at first. Did I mention that I lost twenty pounds! I go through chemo no problem and the surgery kicks my ass to the tune of twenty pounds! I weighed 158 going in and a few weeks later at home i weighed myself for the first time and I was down to 132! That scared the hell out of me! I had to start eating alot of food! Problem with that is that my body is still learning to digest through the bag and the scar tissue going down my pelvis is hardening and screwing with my guts! Fun Fun!!
Whats terrible is that about a week later I was getting out of the shower and I caught a profile of myself in the bathroom mirror. Ladies and gentlemen I had ZERO backside! My ass had completely disappeared! I think ten of the twenty pounds I had lost were from my butt! I was just staring in the mirror asking myself "Really?" Sooo gross just looking and seeing that. Vanity is a mofo! That motivated me to get up and move around a little more.
I had to go back in the hospital over a weekend because I had an intestinal blockage. The scar tissue on my stomach wasnt getting stretched out enough for food to pass through my intestines. I had to go on a liquid diet for a day and drink some stool softener. A few weeks later I started feeling it again so I took care of it myself at home doing the same thing! I am not a big hospital fan!
So now I have been taking daily walks through the streets of my neighborhood. Even when I feel like crap I push myself out the door. I realize that is the only way I am going to recover from this faster. Its easy to lay in bed and moan in pain. Been there done that! It is the hardest thing I have EVER been through! Physically and mentally! I have gone through the gamut of emotions as well. I have cried a few times because I felt like such a burden and because of the pain I was experiencing. Depressed? You betcha! Sometimes i would have to sing some Bob Marley in my head to keep the old chin up! Worked most of the time!
I am now one week away from trying to go back to work. I am not 100% but I think I can handle a couple of days a week now. I need to get back because I am sick of watching tv! I have to get out of this house and get back to living my life! Its still going to be a minute before I am back to normal, but I can handle that.
I still have four months of chemo to get through. That will start back up in the next few weeks. Chemo didnt bother me before so hopefully it wont this time either! That about i! There are other days I can write about and i will do that on the next blog! Sorry I took so long! Hope everyone is doing well and taking the time to smell the roses! Talk at ya soon!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)