I am finally back!

Good Monday everybody! I apologize for taking so long to get back on here and tell about my time right after surgery. There is alot of catching up to do so pour yourselves a drink, smoke 'em if ya got 'em and allow me to get you all up to speed.
My surgery was smooth. I stayed in the hospital for several days before I was finally allowed to go home. While I was in the hospital a few strange things happened. One night I had a dream that I was naked in my private bathroom trying to go pee while two nurses tried to get me to lay back in my bed. I also pulled out the tube I had going down my throat in this dream. Well it turns out the next day that it really happened! I dont know if it was the drugs they had me on or what, but I was so embarrassed! I cant believe I pulled that tube out of my throat without hurting myself! Hospital drugs......WOW!
The first few days they had me on a liquid diet. Jello, broths, puddings....sucked! I hadnt eaten anything solid in about a week and I was sooo ready for a Dominos pizza or something! Once I got on a solid diet and was able to shuffle around the hospital halls by myself I was cleared to go home. I think I got home around August 5th.
The first couple of days back home were pretty much a blur. I dont remember too much except just laying in bed alot! I was getting visits from home health care nurses every couple of days. They would take my vitals, ask a few questions. They were very caring and sympathetic nurses. Unfortunately I was having trouble peeing when I got home and one of them had to give me a catheder. For those not in the know its a tube they stick down your penis and into your bladder. The tube felt like a garden hose and I was about to faint people! My wife was holding my hand and I was crossing threshholds of pain I never knew existed! Child birth could only hurt this much! Props to all of the females out there! So I not only had a colostomy bag on my waist I also had a tube going down my penis. I was soooo miserable guys! I didnt want to be around anyone!
I just have to give my wife Jaurita alot of respect and love for being here for me and watching me go through this. She was there in the bathroom with me the first time i had to change my colostomy bag. I was so weak that she was doing most of the work. When a person will handle your poo you know theyre the one for you! She is amazing. I am extremely lucky to have her in my corner because I am such an asshole sometimes! LYSB!
I didnt answer my phone much or talk to too many people those first few weeks. It was hard getting my strength back at first. Did I mention that I lost twenty pounds! I go through chemo no problem and the surgery kicks my ass to the tune of twenty pounds! I weighed 158 going in and a few weeks later at home i weighed myself for the first time and I was down to 132! That scared the hell out of me! I had to start eating alot of food! Problem with that is that my body is still learning to digest through the bag and the scar tissue going down my pelvis is hardening and screwing with my guts! Fun Fun!!
Whats terrible is that about a week later I was getting out of the shower and I caught a profile of myself in the bathroom mirror. Ladies and gentlemen I had ZERO backside! My ass had completely disappeared! I think ten of the twenty pounds I had lost were from my butt! I was just staring in the mirror asking myself "Really?" Sooo gross just looking and seeing that. Vanity is a mofo! That motivated me to get up and move around a little more.
I had to go back in the hospital over a weekend because I had an intestinal blockage. The scar tissue on my stomach wasnt getting stretched out enough for food to pass through my intestines. I had to go on a liquid diet for a day and drink some stool softener. A few weeks later I started feeling it again so I took care of it myself at home doing the same thing! I am not a big hospital fan!
So now I have been taking daily walks through the streets of my neighborhood. Even when I feel like crap I push myself out the door. I realize that is the only way I am going to recover from this faster. Its easy to lay in bed and moan in pain. Been there done that! It is the hardest thing I have EVER been through! Physically and mentally! I have gone through the gamut of emotions as well. I have cried a few times because I felt like such a burden and because of the pain I was experiencing. Depressed? You betcha! Sometimes i would have to sing some Bob Marley in my head to keep the old chin up! Worked most of the time!
I am now one week away from trying to go back to work. I am not 100% but I think I can handle a couple of days a week now. I need to get back because I am sick of watching tv! I have to get out of this house and get back to living my life! Its still going to be a minute before I am back to normal, but I can handle that.
I still have four months of chemo to get through. That will start back up in the next few weeks. Chemo didnt bother me before so hopefully it wont this time either! That about i! There are other days I can write about and i will do that on the next blog! Sorry I took so long! Hope everyone is doing well and taking the time to smell the roses! Talk at ya soon!