Before I had my surgery I underwent one month of chemotherapy and several rounds of radiation. When I began the chemo pills and IV treatments I didn't notice any side effects at all! I thought I was special! Thought that maybe my body was superhuman and I wasn't going to feel any different after it was done! Well after my surgery is when I found out how much the radiation affected my recovery. My ass was split in half when they took out my rectal muscle and when they stapled me back together I guess the meat underneath was burnt pretty bad because I was miserable as I recovered at home. I couldnt find a comfortable position to sleep in for weeks on end. It felt like I was sitting on a grapefruit sized mass of pain! Now it has subsided to about the size of a walnut. Still hurts a bit if I spend too much time on my butt, but not as bad as the beginning recovery time.
I am so tired of taking pills to deal with the pain of it! I officially hate loratabs and pain meds because I have never been a pill taker and I hate that I have to rely on them for my comfort! God bless the makers of them, but I just despise the process of pumping my body full of un natural things. I wish I could just use my mind to get over any feelings of pain I feel. Well I doubt thats going to happen any time soon! I am only human after all.
Well last Thursday I started up on my last four months of chemo and now I am experiencing all sorts of crazy side effects that I didnt the first time around! When I touch something cold it feels like I am being shocked by electricity! When I drink a cold beverage it feels like my mouth is full of 9 volt batteries and they are shocking me. Even as I swallow! Shocking me all the way down! Fricking crazy! If I start to lose my damn hair I am going to laugh my bald ass off! I am so damn ready to have all of this medical drama over with! Cancer sucks balls people! If I had known I was going to be going through all of this I would have taken better care of my butt over the years! I ask all of the guys out there reading this to go get checked out as soon as possible! A colonoscopy doesnt hurt at all! If you catch it early it's treatable and you dont have to go through all of the crap I have had to experience! You don't want this drama guys! It doesnt make you a better guy if you live through the pain! It just makes you a guy that gets to feel a bunch of bs! Get checked! Don't be a punk! I was a punk thinking I was all good! Well I wasnt!
Had my post-operative PETSCAN on Friday to check that they got all of the cancer out from the surgery. I get to wait until Monday to find out results! If they find any other cancer I am going to be livid! I have gone through enough over these last four and a half months! I dont need any more crap to deal with and neither does my family! So wish me luck, pray if you want. I am just going to wait and see what the cards hold! I am going to go watch some football, visit my brother and spend a Sunday trying to relax!
