It's The Final Countdown!!

So sorry it has been over a month since I last updated anyone on my status! I have been busy just living life and preparing for whats to come in the coming weeks. The family and I went on a vacation to Lake Eufala a little over a week ago. Getting out into the country and away from the city was FANTASTIC! I think Jaurita and I will retire to a lakehouse in the future now! She's a country girl, likes her fishing. I like it for the scenery. I am a nature lover! A hippy in the sense that I love the surroundings of the country more than cityscapes anyday!
Tomorrow I go in for my pre-op aapointment. They are just going to give me a rundown on what I have to do the days before my surgery. I know I get to drink 2 bottles of magnesium citrate to clean out my digestive system! One last gasp of excavation by my ass before it goes the way of the Do-Do bird! On July 28th I go in for the tumor removal surgery. Then its a few days in the hospital to recover. Then I will stay at home for a couple of weeks and get healed up. Getting a colostomy bag is going to be a trip! I am looking forward to adjusting to this new way of pooping! No more toilet paper for me! I am going green! Just doing my part to save Mother Earth! It's the least i can do after all the years I have killed countless trees wiping my ass!
Between you and I, this hasnt been too bad of an experience so far. Sure, I have had a bad day here and there. I think the radiation is the main culprit for the bad days I have had. The chemo made me a little sick, but nothing too dramatic. I compare it to a tequila morning after. Yeah, you get sick, throw up a little, but it passes. And at least you don't wake up with some girl you THOUGHT was beautiful the night before sleeping on your chest, curled up on you like you a kitten! So not too bad!
As I have gotten further away from the radiation treatment my bowel movements have gotten alot more manageable. In the latter stages I would be sweating any time I had to take a shit. Literally sweating! I was getting hemorrhoids EVERYTIME i had to drop ther kids off at the pool! EVERYTIME! It made me want to rip out my ass myself! Made me long for the surgery so i could just be done with it all! My ass refused to go quietly into that good night!It was clawing and scratching at me trying to get my attention! Well it got my attention allright! It made me hate it! Now as I get closer to surgery my ass has calmed down in its antics and it almost seems like it knows the "end" is near! Hahaha! Take that you piece of crap booty! You are soon to be history! Be gone foul demon!
I was able to work some days over the last couple of weeks. It was nice to get out of the house and spend some time away from these four walls. While I was away my friend Jon at work fell off a ladder there and broke his arm in 5 places! He's all ganked up now and it looks like he will be losing some movement in his right arm. All of the guys that work daytime up there are falling out! Granted there are only 2 of us! Hope you get better soon Jon! That just goes to my saying before that everyone has shit they have to deal with. My cancer isnt stopping me from doing anything with my arms, well maybe wiping my ass, but thats it! Jon was an avid softball player and now this has sidelined him in a way that may affect his mental well being. He is going to have to struggle with rehab and hopefully he can get back to some kind of playing shape. Put some thoughts and prayers out to him please.
It is going to be a challenge to work this colostomy bag into my life, but its not that big of a deal to me really. It is going to be different, but it's not that big of a game changer. If I was single it would put a cramp on my style, but I have a wife who loves me no matter what I have wrong with me so i am lucky in that respect. I won't have to explain it to any new conquests. "I think you're pretty sexy. Want to go boack to my place?" Then while we're getting all touchy-feely she says, "What is this?" I reply, "Oh, that's just my bag of feces!" NOT COOL! hahaha!
I used to say, and I still say, that everybody gets to deal with some kind of medical obstacle in their life. I have lived 43 years without too many complications. Just the occasional cold, hemorrhoids or flu were my worst moments. This is my Mount Everest. My rectal cancer has opened my eyes to what is important in my life in alot of ways. Damn shame it has taken this to do it. Granted, I've had a pretty good outlook on life my entire life. So I am almost to the surgery. I will be laid up for a minute afterwards, but I will try to get on here alot and keep you all posted as to whats going on! I promise that it won't be so long in between posts! Take care of yourselves people!